Fables of aesop in post internet era

Once upon a  time there was a farmer who had listed one person as son on facebook. They had 230 wall pictures of a donkey that they owned. The farmer had lost lot of money playing online poker, so he posted on his son's wall "shall we sell the donkey?". The son instantly liked it followed by 23 likes from neighbors who did not like noise made by the donkey.

So the next day after updating facebook status, they started out on foot towards the nearby town to sell the donkey. As they were walking with the donkey they got emotional about losing the donkey forever. So they took a small video clip where all of them are walking. The farmer posted it on his facebook wall as tribute to the donkey. Soon after, he was flooded with comments from various people and most of them were making fun of the farmer and the son. They thought it was idiotic for both of them to walk while the donkey could easily carry one of them.

After reluctantly liking the negative comments the father asked son to get on the donkey and he continued walking. He felt comfortable about new arrangement and posted new video clip on his wall. This time friends of the farmer seemed angry and complained in ALL CAPS about the son's temerity to take a ride when his father was walking. Now the farmer was really pissed off, he halted the donkey near a tree and played angry birds for sometime. After a while he himself got on to the donkey and asked the son to walk.

The bored son posted the new video on his wall from his mobile. Most of his friends gave comments against his father for making the kid walk while he is riding. Unable to take the criticism, he discussed the matter with his father. The farmer asked the son to mount on the donkey as well. So now both of them were on donkey and none of them remembered about taking the video.

However with cameras everywhere, some CCTV caught video of them riding the donkey together. Within few minutes some local news channels had collected animal right activists to debate on the torture being done to the donkey. The clip was running continuously in background with words like "Brutality", "Atyachar" flashing in bold. Worried relatives of the farmer apprised him of the matter via twitter.

The farmer got scared and he along with son got down from the donkey. He sent sms to news channels and animal right activists begging for forgiveness. Most activists asked him to atone for the torture by carrying the donkey on them for remaining part of journey. The farmer then tied legs of the donkey to a pole upside down and along with son started carrying the donkey on shoulders. Thankfully soon a celebrity twitted something nasty and news channels became busy with new breaking news.

The farmer was now crossing a narrow bridge. The donkey who was enjoying the ride till now looked up to the sky for a while when a realization struck him. He became unnerved at the thought of falling into the sky should his legs become lose. The donkey started shouting and jostling itself. The legs became lose and the donkey fell into the river.

Moral of the story: Sometimes its better to use orkut.

Raju Srivastava starts indefinite hunger strike against Google.

New Delhi, Raju Srivastava, the famous stand up comedian, along with few other well known faces in laughter challenge, has started hunger strike against Google's translation service. Raju said that their livelihood is under threat since long time and now they are being kicked in stomach by MNC giant as well.

"First of all due to some new songs on Shiela and Munni followed by Yana Gupta's stunts, demand of comedy for entertainment has gone down. Kya batayen, most politicians and actors are making a joke of themselves and people no longer turn to us for a joke. After super flop performance in Bihar elections for instance, Rahul Gandhi evokes laughter without any jokes. Things have come to point where a mom no longer threatens a crying child with Gabbar, she just shows a picture of Rahul Gandhi and the child starts laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, such events are happening that random people can make good jokes on them. These days any tom, dick, and Subhash is making 5-8 jokes on onion per week. We were barely making our ends meet when we were hit by far bigger problem of Google's hindi transation service. You just need to type a sensible sentence in hindi and it instantly produces a joke in English" said Raju with poignant face.

His friends expressed similar opinions and said government must ban Google translate in India to save livelihood of sons of the soil.

A comedian friend advocating Raju's points.

Google Translate from Hindi to English in action.

Eyewitness account of Paras Shah incident.

I only speak key and nothing but key (sancho).

Paras was tired after attending many functions in the day and was already drunk when he met Rubel and other foriegners. Paras was drunk enough to reach 'Kaminey' stage where confusion between 'Sha' and 'Pha' starts to happen. He shared his drink with Rubel and others as a courtesy.

Rubel was feeling dizzy already so he threw most of his drink on floor seceretly. Paras noticed that Rubel finished his drink very fast and he asked "tero drink khoi". Rubel consulted his nepalese speaking friends and replied "Phale...". Paras heard it as "saale" he became angry and thundered "himmat chha bhane ek choti pheri bol". After consultation Rubel said "kati choti bhanu, Phale Phale Phale". Paras was seething with extreme anger now.

Rubel wanted to go to toilet and thought it would diffuse the situation and also make him feel less dizzy. Paras and his friends were standing near the way to toilet so Rubel said in bengali-hindi "Bhadrajan sorenge... hum padenge" (could you please shift a bit I want to put my feet forward). Paras was completely out of control now and he fired a shot in air to calm himself. 

Shocked by sudden turn of events Rubel lost control of his urinal and intestinal muscles and wetted his pants on both sides. This is also reason why there is continued confusion on how many shots were fired. In effort to protect himeslf and Deputy PM from becomming butt of jokes, Rubel quickly started behaving as if Paras was trying to kill him and the shot was targeted towards him.

Additional reporting:

In major development which strengthens above testimony investigator of high profile cases Taranath Ranabhat has found "Pahelo Padarth" on Rubel's pants. He dodged queries on nature of the material. When asked from where and how the material came on the pants he jokingly said "ratatatatataatata bhatatatatatata gardai aayo".